Snow White
by Frankie Alton
Summary: An unusual mission with an unusual name. When Hogan is captured by the Gestapo it is up to Newkirk and the others to free him.


**Prologue**

Colonel Wilhelm Klink walked into the cell with trepidation. He ran a prison himself, but something about a Gestapo prison gave him the chills.

How did Colonel Hogan end up here? How could he get captured by the Gestapo? How did he end up outside of the camp? Colonel Klink felt a tinge of guilt. Perhaps this was partially his fault. After all it was his job to keep Hogan inside the camp…

Colonel Klink gasped when he saw Hogan. The American was thin and pale; he was sitting in the corner with his head leaning against the wall to prop himself up. Klink also noticed several large bruises.

"Colonel Hogan," Klink said softly.

Hogan stirred and turned towards Colonel Klink. He blinked a few times, trying to focus on Klink.

"Colonel Hogan, I'm here to make sure you are being treated according to Geneva Convention."

Hogan sensed the sarcasm in Klink's voice. He knew that was a farce. "As you can see," Hogan said slowly and weakly, "I'm being treated in the same fair and humane manner as all Gestapo prisoners."

"Is there nothing that can squelch your American humor?" Klink muttered.

Hogan would have laughed if it didn't hurt so much. "How are my men?" He asked.

"They're trying to take their minds of the fact that you are here. They're staging a play tomorrow night."

"Really?" Hogan squinted in the dim light of his cell, trying to study Klink's expression. Was he speaking in code?

"Really. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

Hogan laughed slightly. "Who's playing Snow White?"

"Corporal Newkirk, I believe."

"Well tell them to save me a seat. I wouldn't want to miss that."

"I will." Klink replied.

He had been speaking in code. "Thank you Colonel," Hogan said softly.

"You're welcome, Colonel." Klink replied. "I must return to camp now. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Nothing at all." Hogan answered. He saluted, or at least did the best job he could of saluting in his weakened state.

Colonel Klink returned the salute and exited the cell, wondering what exactly he had just communicated to Colonel Hogan.

**Chapter One**

One week earlier…

"Why does morning roll call have to be so early?' Colonel Robert Hogan muttered as he and his men assembled in the compound in front of their barracks.

"Mmm… I think I need a night off," Newkirk said, in between yawns.

"Right," Hogan said. "I'll put a call into Churchill and let him know."

Colonel Hogan rubbed his eyes. He was incredibly tired. He and his men had been on missions for the last five nights. They managed to get some naps in the afternoons, but it never seemed to be enough.

To make things worse last night's mission had not gone off according to plan. The mission seemed simple enough when they received it, to blow up a munitions factory several miles outside of camp. Hogan and his men had carried out many similar missions without a hitch.

However last night after the charges had been set and they were leaving the factory they were caught off guard by a Gestapo patrol. They exchanged gunfire but fortunately none of his men were hurt. Unfortunately they were still too close to the factory when it exploded. They used the chaos of the explosion to get away from the patrol, but a piece of debris caught Colonel Hogan in the right side.

It had been a long trek back to camp. They didn't get back until an hour before roll call, and Hogan had spent that time being stitched up by one of the medics in camp preventing him from getting any sleep.

"REPORT" Kommandant Klink yelled as he stormed across the compound from his office toward the assembled prisoners.

Colonel Hogan rubbed his head. Did Klink have to be so loud?

"Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for!" Sergeant of the guard Hans Shultz bellowed, giving his most military salute.

Klink returned the salute. "Very good." He scanned the prisoners, and frowned when he saw Colonel Hogan. "Colonel Hogan," he said, walking towards the senior POW officer. "Why do you look as if you've been in a fight?"

"A fight?" Hogan pretended to be insulted. "You know we never get in fights here at Stalag 13."

"Then how do you explain those cuts all over your face?"

"Football. I got tackled, and wouldn't you know I went face first right into the ground."

"Is that so? Why do I not believe you, Colonel?"

"How else would I have gotten injured?" Hogan replied, with mock innocence.

"Hmmph. Well try not to get yourself injured again. I can barely requisition enough medical supplies for my own men, let alone you prisoners. DIS-missed!" Colonel Klink turned and walked away, obviously annoyed with Colonel Hogan's excuses.

* * *

Colonel Klink was busy at work on his usual stack of paperwork when his normal routine was disrupted by Gestapo Major Wolfgang Hochstetter barging unannounced into his office. 

"Major Hochstetter, what is the meaning of this…" Klink protested.

"Colonel Klink," Hochstetter interrupted. "This won't take long. I assure you that you will have plenty of time to deal with your paperwork later."

"What do you want?" Klink asked curtly. He had given up on trying to be pleasant with Hochstetter a long time ago.

"I wish to speak with one of your prisoners."

"Let me guess… Colonel Hogan. What has he supposedly been up to this time?"

"Klink!" Hochstetter growled. "Last night a munitions factory several miles from this camp was destroyed by saboteurs. I suspect your Colonel Hogan has something to do with this."

"Of course you do. I don't suppose you have any actual evidence this time?"

Hochstetter was seething with anger. "The underground group exchanged fire with a Gestapo patrol just before the factor exploded. In the wake of the explosion the underground saboteurs escaped. But one of the patrol reported that the leader of the underground unit was injured in the blast. This morning we found blood at the scene."

"What's your point?" Klink asked. He was suddenly nervous. What would Hochstetter think about the cuts on Hogan's face? Klink barely believed Hogan's football game story, Hochstetter certainly wouldn't. That would be enough evidence for Hochstetter.

"I want to have a look at Colonel Hogan, just to see if…"

"If he got injured in an explosion? Impossible!" Klink wasn't going to relent. He wanted this man out of his camp.

"We will see about that. Sergeant, bring Colonel Hogan to this office at once."

"Ja Wohl, Herr Major!" Sergeant Han Shultz said. He had been standing quietly outside of Klink's office, hoping not to get pulled into the argument. He liked to avoid any volatile situation, especially if it involved Major Hochstetter.

"Sergeant Shultz, I am the commandant here, not him. You take orders from me!" Klink said.

"Yes, Herr Kommandant," the sergeant replied, standing there unsure of what to do.

"Well don't just stand there, go get Colonel Hogan!" Klink yelled.

"Ja Wohl, Herr Kommandant!" he said, turning sharply and marching out of the office. Boy, was this war confusing.

* * *

Hogan and his men had been listening to the exchange between Klink and Hochstetter via the bug they had planted in Klink's office. 

"What are you gonna do Colonel?" Sergeant Carter asked nervously.

"How are you gonna explain those injuries, sir?" Newkirk asked.

"I dunno." Hogan rubbed his head. He was really starting to feel terrible.

"Shultz is almost here." Kinchloe had been watching at the door. The other men quickly put away their amplifier, which was disguised as a coffee pot.

"G'mornin Shultzie," Corporal Newkirk said as the portly sergeant walked into the barracks.

"Hmph. Good morning indeed," Shultz muttered. "As a matter of fact, it is not a very good morning."

"Aw, why's that?" LeBeau asked.

"Major Hochstetter showed up at Kommandant Klink's office not very long ago, and he is in a really bad mood."

"Does he ever show up in a really good mood?" Sergeant Carter asked.

Shultz paused for a moment as if he were thinking. "No, he does not."

"What do you want Shultz?" Hogan said. He was still sitting at the table in the center of the barracks.

"Major Hochstetter wants to see you in Klink's office. He thinks you were injured in some explosion last…" Shultz's voice trailed off as he took a look at Hogan. "You _weren't_ injured in an explosion last night, were you?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Nien. I want to know nothing. Now come with me to the Kommandant's office."

Hogan followed Shultz silently to Klink's office. He had to think of some kind of an excuse that would fool Hochstetter.

Hochstetter didn't waste anytime making accusations as soon as he saw Hogan walk into the office. "What is this? Is this how all of your prisoners look, Kommandant Klink?"

"He is brutal, sir," Hogan said to Hochstetter, complete with his usual grin.

"Insolence!" Hochstetter screamed. "I know the real reason behind your injuries. What do you know about an explosion that took place several kilometers from here last night?"

"I don't know anything," Hogan replied.

"Is that so? I don't believe you do." Hochstetter circled Hogan menacingly. "I know from my sources that the leader of the underground sabotage unit was injured in the explosion." Hogan didn't respond. "Now I see that you have quite a bit of injuries for someone living in a prisoner of war camp."

"We run a safe camp here, Major," Klink interjected. Hogan shot him an icy look. "But sometimes injuries do happen."

"Sometimes…" Hochstetter muttered. Without warning he grabbed Hogan and threw him against the wall.

Hogan grunted as he hit the wall. Instinctively his hand reached for his side. He moved it quickly, but not before Hochstetter noticed.

"What is this?" the Gestapo major asked.

"What is what?" Hogan asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"Don't get smart with me," Hochstetter yelled. He punched Hogan in the abdomen, the exact spot where he was injured. This time Hogan couldn't hide the pain. He moaned as he grabbed his side and doubled over. He had to give Hochstetter credit for one thing- he was more perceptive than any of the Germans at Stalag 13.

Hochstetter grinned maliciously. He grabbed Hogan's shirt and ripped it open, revealing the injury. "How do you explain this?"

Klink's face grew pale when he saw Hogan's injury. That was definitely not from playing football.

"I…" Hogan started before Colonel Klink interrupted.

"He fell off the roof of one of the barracks yesterday." Hogan and Hochstetter both stared at Colonel Klink. "I offered the prisoners an hour of extra electricity all week if they would do some repairs to the roofs of some of the barracks." At least the last part is true, Klink thought.

"Klink you are lying!"

"No, he's not. We did repair the roof yesterday. The snow started melting in the afternoon sun and it got slippery…"

"BAH! Why should I believe either of you?" Hochstetter was livid.

"Herr Major, if I may…" Shultz said sheepishly. "The prisoners were working on the barracks roofs yesterday."

"Is that so?" Hochstetter said menacingly. "And you saw this supposed fall?"

"Well… you see Herr Major, it is normally my policy to see nothing…"

"Traitors!" Hochstetter yelled. "And you Klink are not just a traitor but a liar. I always thought you were merely complacent, but now I can see that you are actually complicit."

"I am neither," Klink protested. "Now I don't suppose you have any other 'evidence' against Colonel Hogan?"

"Evidence?" Hochstetter growled.

"What I see here is nothing more than coincidence."

Hochstetter looked as if he could explode. Perhaps Klink had pushed him too far. "You think you're clever. Both of you," Hochstetter glanced from Klink to Hogan. "But I will be watching you both, watching everything that goes on in this camp. And the second one of you slips up, I will be there to catch you."

"If your business is done here Major I can have Sergeant Shultz escort you to the gate."

"My business is not done here. I will be back, Colonel," Hochstetter threatened as he stormed out of the office, followed by a very pale Sergeant Shultz.

Klink sank into his chair and buried his head in his hands. He had just lied to a Gestapo officer. Thirty years of exemplary military service could have just been undone.

"Why did you lie to Hochstetter?" Hogan asked. He pulled himself into a chair next to Klink's desk.

"I had no choice- my lies are obviously better than yours." Klink said bitterly.

Hogan was stunned. Had Klink seen through his cover story that easily? Perhaps he should have listened to his men when they told him he was working himself too hard.

"What are you talking about?" Hogan asked, deciding it wise to neither confirm nor deny Klink's accusation.

"Do you think I'm a complete idiot?" Klink snapped.

"Do you really want me to answer that…"

"HOGAN! Now is not the time for your American humor. You didn't get these injuries playing football. I don't know what you're up to, but if you manage to get yourself arrested by Hochstetter then I'm going to be in the cell right next to yours."

"So you're just worried about yourself?"

"Don't get self-righteous Colonel. I know you're not concerned about me either. Besides, if it were not for me you would be leaving this camp with Hochstetter right now."

Hogan rubbed his head. Everything Klink had just said was true. He didn't know how to respond. Both men were quiet for a moment.

"That wound looks rather serious, Colonel. Do you need anything to treat it?" Colonel Klink's tone was softer now.

Hogan was taken aback by Klink's sudden concern. "I suppose some penicillin wouldn't hurt. And some extra bandages."

"I'll see what I can do. Now go back to your barracks and get some rest. You look terrible."

"Yes, sir." Hogan answered. Normally he would have had some witty comeback to that kind of a comment, but at the moment he just couldn't think quickly enough. Not only did he look terrible, but he felt terrible too.

* * *

Colonel Hogan slept most of the afternoon, though it was a restless sleep. Thanks to last night's accident, he could not lay in the same position for more than fifteen minutes without something starting to ache. On top of that he had a terrible fever which seemed to be getting worse. 

Around 5 o'clock Sergeant Hans Shultz showed up at Barracks 2, carrying a box. "Attention prisoners!" he bellowed, announcing his presence.

"Oh howdy, Shultz," Sergeant Andrew Carter replied as continued to deal a hand of solitaire.

"How's it going, Shultzie?" Newkirk asked, as he lay in his bunk staring at a six month old magazine he had read at least a dozen times already.

None of the other prisoners bothered to come to attention for the portly sergeant either.

"You know, in other stalags you would all be thrown in the cooler for refusing to come to attention," Shultz scolded them.

"Oh lighten up, Shultzie," Newkirk said.

"Yeah," Corporal Louis LeBeau added. "You wouldn't really want to throw us in the cooler would you?"

"Sometimes, I would." Shultz muttered.

"Hey Shultz, what's with the box?" Sergeant James Kinchloe asked.

"That is why I came here. This box is from Kommandant Klink. He said to deliver it to Colonel Hogan. He said it is very important."

"Okay, we'll give it to him Shultz, you can leave it here." Kinchloe said.

"Nien," Shultz argued. "It is for Colonel Hogan. I must make sure that he gets it!"

"He will get it. He's sleepin' now, we really don't wanna wake him" Carter replied.

"No! I will take it to him…" Shultz was cut off mid sentence when Hogan emerged from his quarters.

"What's all the noise about?" Hogan seemed mildly irritated and very tired.

"Kommandant Klink said to give this to you," Shultz said, handing the box to Hogan.

Hogan opened it and looked inside. "Well what do you know?" There was a large amount of bandages and gauze, as well as several vials of penicillin. Klink actually came through. But how did he get this, especially when he already told Hogan he was having a hard time with medical supplies?

"What's in the box, Guv'nor?" Newkirk asked.

Hogan opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. The room started to spin. He felt his knees get weak, and he reached out for something to hold himself up. Instead he fell to the floor, and everything went black.

**Chapter Two**

Colonel Hogan woke up a few hours later. Newkirk and Carter were in his quarters, along with two of the camp medics.

"How're you feelin' Colonel?" Newkirk asked.

"Terrible." Hogan muttered.

"Yeah, you look pretty terrible," Carter said without thinking.

"Carter!" Newkirk smacked his American friend in the back of the head.

"What?" Carter asked innocently.

Hogan watched the two men wearily. He probably would have laughed if he felt better. "Wh… what happened?"

"A combination or injury, infection and total exhaustion," Medic Joshua Daly answered. He was an American, who had been captured just a few weeks ago. He still wasn't quite sure what really happened at Stalag 13.

"You're fortunate that Klink got you that penicillin," Medic Jack Phillips said. He was an English officer, and he had been in Stalag 13 over a year. "But I don't really understand why he did it."

"He's just protecting himself." Hogan explained.

"In what way?" Phillips asked.

"If old Hochstetter figured out what the Colonel is up to, Klink's head would end up on the choppin' block too," Newkirk answered.

"I see," Phillips said.

"You need to get some rest Colonel," Daly said, bringing the conversation back around to Hogan's health. "Your body needs time to heal and to fight this infection. Captain Phillips and myself are putting you on bed rest for five days."

"Is that an order, Captain?" Hogan asked sarcastically.

"Yes, sir." Phillips answered. "A dead spy doesn't do anybody any good."

"Make sure you get plenty of fluids and lots of sleep. We've told your men to keep an eye on you." Daly said. Hogan glared at Carter and Newkirk.

"We'll be back to check on you in morning," Phillips said.

* * *

Colonel Hogan finally managed to get some decent sleep after Phillips and Daly's visit. They had given him some painkillers in addition to the penicillin. 

He had slept late into the morning, thanks to the fact that Klink had mercifully dismissed him from attending morning roll call. He finally got out of bed when it was nearly eleven. As he stretched his now very sore muscles he heard a soft sound. It was alarm meant to be heard by those who were supposed to hear it and unnoticed by those who were not. It meant that someone was trying to send them a radio message.

Hogan realized that there must not be anyone in the tunnels. In fact there was no one in the barracks. They were seeing the first hints of springtime and the men, bored from spending all winter in the barracks, were all outside enjoying the sunshine.

Hogan activated the secret panel that opened the passage into the tunnels. "I'm getting too old for this," Hogan said with a moan, realizing just how stiff and sore he was as he descended the ladder.

"Papa Bear if you are there please answer. This is urgent," the radio chirped.

Colonel Hogan picked up the radio receiver. "This is Papa Bear. Please identify yourself."

"I am with the Red Unit," the man replied. The Red unit was one of several new sabotage units Hogan had set up in the area. It was headed by a man named Hans, whom Hogan knew fairly well.

"Are you aware that Hans is the only one to have contact with me?" Hogan said, annoyed. He was constantly frustrated with the underground agents who did not follow protocol. Did they not realize how dangerous that was?

"Hans has been arrested by the Gestapo sir," the man on the other end answered anxiously.

"What is the name of the officer who arrested him?" Hogan asked.

"Major Hochstetter," the man answered. It made sense, Hochstetter was the head of the local Gestapo.

Hogan realized instantly what a terrible situation this was. Hans knew him and could identify him. Hochstetter had been getting increasingly closer to having some substantial evidence against him. And given Hochstetter's near miss the day before, the major would snap at anything that meant a chance to get Hogan.

Hogan thought for a moment. He needed to stay as far away from this as possible. He couldn't risk compromising his identity- at least, any more than it had already been compromised.

"Your unit is going to have to get him away from Hochstetter," Hogan told the man on the other end.

"Us, sir? But isn't your unit so much more experienced?"

Hogan sighed and rubbed his head. Why was it always his job to bail people out of trouble? "Look, I can't be involved in this, for obvious reasons."

"But we have no idea what to do. We've never had to break anyone away from the Gestapo before."

Hogan considered what to do for a minute. Finally he answered, "I will meet with your unit tonight to help you come up with a plan. But my men and myself won't be involved in the rescue mission. Understand?"

"Yes sir," the man on the other end answered.

"I will meet your unit at rendezvous point three at 0100 hours."

"Rendezvous point three at 0100 hours," the other man echoed.

"Great. Papa Bear over and out." He turned off the receiver, exasperated. He had to come up with a plan, quickly.

As Hogan considered what to do about this situation he was distracted from his thoughts by Sergeant Kinchloe. "Sir?"

"Yes Sergeant," Hogan answered.

"I thought you'd want to know, Hochstetter just showed up."

"Great," Hogan muttered. "Get the receiver ready, I want to hear what he has to say to Klink."

"I just wanted to let you know, Kommandant, that you should keep an eye on Colonel Hogan tonight. I have just captured an important member of the local underground and I am sure that it will not be long before he reveals to me the identity of the Papa Bear…" Hochstetter said sternly.

"I don't see why that is any of my concern," Klink replied coldly.

"I'm sure it will be, when he reveals that man to be your very own Colonel Hogan."

"I highly doubt that." Klink said. All he wanted was for Hochstetter to leave. He got tired of these conversations that seemed to go around in circles. "Did you really come here just to tell me that?"

"I thought I would give you a fair warning, one German officer to another." He paused and leaned in closer to the desk. "If you don't heed my advice it won't be my fault if your head ends up in the noose."

Klink felt a sudden rush of anxiety. "If you're done threatening me Major, I have plenty of work to do."

"I am done. For now. But I have a feeling we will be seeing each again very soon." Major Hochstetter slammed the door on his way out, rattling Klink even more.

"Great," Hogan muttered. "He really does have Hans. Now I have to figure out a plan before I meet with his group tonight."

"Is that a good idea, Colonel?" Kinchloe asked with concern.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure you're really recovered. Maybe you should send one of us."

"I'll be okay. Besides, they'll listen to me. And we need to be involved in this mission as little as possible."

"Are you sure, Colonel?" Kinch's tone was serious.

"I'm sure."

* * *

Hogan snuck out of the camp a little after midnight, dressed in the black turtleneck and black trousers he normally wore on such missions. He had come up with a plan he hoped would work. 

Hogan hadn't made it too far away from camp when he started to feel dizzy. He considered turning back, but stubbornly decided that he could make it.

A few minutes later he felt thoroughly awful. He realized he needed to turn back around, but by this point it was too late.

For the second time in two days he felt the world around him go black…

**Chapter Three**

The next morning

"He's still not back. What are we gonna do?" Corporal LeBeau asked nervously.

"What can we do? Roll call is in five minutes," Sergeant Kinchloe said.

"You don't suppose we could convince Shultz to pretend that he's really here, do ya?" Carter suggested.

"Not gonna work mate. If it were one of us, maybe. But not the Colonel. Besides, I'm sure ole Klink will notice he's not there anyway," Newkirk said.

The men sat in silence for a few moments until the bell sounded for morning roll call. The filed outside silently, unsure of what to do.

Newkirk kept looking at the fence, hoping somehow to catch a glimpse of Hogan returning to camp. It wasn't like the Colonel to do something like this. If he had to be gone for more than a day he came up with a plan. Newkirk's stomach churned. What if something bad had happened?

Sergeant Shultz began his usual count of the prisoners. He always ended his count with Colonel Hogan. But this morning when he reached the end of the line the senior POW officer was not there.

"Where is he? Where?" Shultz demanded.

"Where's who?" LeBeau said, trying to sound light-hearted, but not quite succeeding.

"You know who! Colonel Hogan."

"Oh, him." Newkirk said. "The Colonel's just out for a stroll. He'll be back in bit, I promise."

"Newkirk, this is not funny." Shultz tried to keep his voice low. "If he is not here I am going to be in big trouble. Really big trouble."

"Well just don't tell Klink. He'll be back later." Kinchloe said. He figured it wouldn't work, but it was at least worth trying.

"No. This I must report. It would be worth my life, not to."

"REPORT!" Klink yelled with his usual too early for that time of day loudness.

"Herr Kommandant, I… I…" Shultz stammered nervously.

"Shultz, what are you blathering about?" Klink scanned the group of assembled prisoners. "Where is Colonel Hogan?"

"You see Herr Kommandant, I was just about to report that… that… he is not here."

Colonel Klink seemed very surprised. "Are you certain?"

"Ja Wohl, Herr Kommandant!"

"And he is the only one missing?"

"Ja Wohl."

This didn't seem right to Colonel Klink. Why would Hogan escape and leave all of the others behind? Klink always figured that if Hogan were to escape he would take as many prisoners as possible with him.

"Sound the alarms, let loose the dogs!" Klink ordered. He rubbed his chin, thinking. Just then he noticed a Gestapo staff car at the main gate. Suddenly he felt anxious.

The car pulled up to Klink's office and Major Hochstetter jumped out. Klink noticed someone else in the car- Colonel Hogan. "Tell the guards to call of the search," Klink ordered Shultz before turning and walking briskly to his office.

Klink met Hochstetter at the front steps to his office.

"Missing any prisoners, Klink?" Hochstetter said gleefully.

"Just one, and it seems that you have found him. So if you just turn him over to me, I will see to it that he gets punished," Klink said.

"I don't think so. Not this time Klink."

Klink glared at him. "Let's discuss this in my office." Klink walked inside without waiting for a response.

"An escaped prisoner of war is not a Gestapo problem," Klink started as soon as they were in the office. He wanted this man out of his camp. He had just out right lied to the Gestapo yesterday to protect Colonel Hogan and now the American was in trouble again. And quite possibly Klink could end up in a lot of trouble as well.

"In this case it is a matter for the Gestapo. I have evidence pointing to the fact that your Colonel Hogan is indeed working for the underground." Hochstetter grinned- a twisted, disturbing smile.

"What evidence would that be?" Klink said with disdain.

"I did not really capture a local underground agent yesterday. It was a ploy to trick Colonel Hogan into acting. We he thought his identity could be compromised he arranged a meeting with someone he thought to be an underground saboteur, who was in fact a Gestapo agent. This agent was supposed to meet Papa Bear last night…"

"Coincidence!" Klink interjected.

"Our agent was due to rendezvous with Papa Bear at 0100 hours at a location approximately 2 kilometers northwest of this camp. Papa Bear never showed up for that meeting. Your Colonel Hogan was found a little less than a kilometer northwest of this camp in civilian clothes. Do you expect me to believe this is just a coincidence?" Hochstetter was not willing to back down on this issue.

"Sometimes there are unusual coincidences around here…" Klink said timidly, knowing he had lost this battle.

"Is that so? For your sake Klink you had better hope this is a coincidence." Hochstetter leaned in toward Klink and added threateningly "Because I have a feeling that after I have a chance to discuss this matter with Colonel Hogan I will becoming back here to have a little conversation with you."

Hogan's men were listening to the entire conversation between Klink and Hochstetter via the microphone they had planted in Klink's office. They were silent for a moment.

"What are we gonna do?" Carter asked finally, breaking the silence.

"I don't know. Hochstetter really has something to go on this time. He's not gonna back down easily," Kinchloe answered.

There was another moment of silence. Finally Newkirk spoke. "I think it's time we put on a play," he said, jumping up from his seat and sprinting into Colonel Hogan's office.

"A play?" Carter said incredulously. "Colonel Hogan's only been gone for five minutes and Newkirk's already cracking up."

Newkirk walked back into the room with a book in his hands. He sat down and began thumbing through the book. "Hmm… let's see. This sounds like a good one. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves…"

"Snow White?" Kinchloe asked.

"Look, Newkirk, we are all concerned about the Colonel. But we've got to keep it together," LeBeau said.

Newkirk looked around the room at all of the men staring at him. "Blimey, mates? Do you really think I've gone loony?" There was no response. "This is a book of instructions from Colonel Hogan in case he ever got captured."

"Oh…" Carter said. "Why didn't we know about this book?"

"He just came up with the idea a few weeks ago, when he realized ole Hochstetter was getting closer to figuring things out. He didn't tell you guys cause he had to clear it with me first."

"Why's that?" LeBeau asked. "Why are you so special?"

"Because I'm the 'star' of most of these plays, that's why."

"Yeah, and he had to make sure you were a good enough actor for the lead role." Carter chuckled.

Newkirk rolled his eyes. "Because he had to know if I was willing to put me life on the line, that's why. And of course if would- if it were to save him."

The other men looked at Newkirk with a sudden new respect. He had normally seemed like the type to try to avoid volunteering for anything. Now in Colonel Hogan's absence he had emerged as their leader.

"Now gather round gentlemen, I've got a story to tell you," Newkirk said. "About Snow White and the Seven Dwarves…"

"Not another fairy tale name," Carter interrupted.

"Yeah. Next war I vote we go for a different theme with our code names," Kinchloe added.

"Me too," LeBeau said.

"We're not gonna have to worry about the next war if you chaps don't pull this mission off," Newkirk said. "Now listen up, here's the plan…"

* * *

Klink found himself staring aimlessly as he attempted to tackle the massive stack of paperwork that seemed to be perpetually in front of him. 

The events of the past few days seemed to defy explanation, or at least any explanation that he would want to believe. Colonel Hogan had to be up to something… but he was a prisoner. And if he were some kind of underground agent… Klink shuddered at the thought. He knew he would end up swinging in the gallows right next to Hogan.

Something else bothered Klink too. He was worried about Hogan. He scolded himself for being distracted from his work by worrying about an enemy. After all that was what Colonel Hogan was. He certainly wasn't a friend. He was a prisoner- an arrogant, flippant prisoner who always seemed to be causing some sort of trouble. Of course he had also gotten Klink out of trouble on several occasions.

Klink realized that he had given up totally on his paperwork, and instead had unconsciously resorted to pacing in front of his desk.

"Maybe I need to take a walk," Klink muttered to himself.

As he was walking out of his office he was stopped by his secretary, Hilda. She looked very worried.

"Herr Kommandant, I am worried about Colonel Hogan." She looked at him with big blue eyes.

"I'm sure there is nothing to worry about Frauline. The Gestapo will realize that he is innocent." Klink was lying. The Gestapo never found anyone to be innocent. He just didn't have the heart to say that to poor Hilda.

"That Major Hochstetter is a wicked man. I don't think he will treat Colonel Hogan fairly."

"Hmm…" Klink said. "I see your point."

"Herr Kommandant…" Hilda touched Klink's arm and leaned in close. "It would mean a lot to me if you would go check on him."

"I don't know about going to a Gestapo prison…" Klink stammered. He was not very good at resisting beautiful women.

"Please Colonel." Hilda gave him her best pout. It worked.

"Okay. I'll go." Klink sighed.

As he walked outside he found Hogan's entourage waiting for him.

"I'm worried about Colonel Hogan, commandant." Newkirk said.

"Really?" Klink responded sarcastically. "That seems to be the theme of the day."

Newkirk hoped that response meant Hilda had worked her magic on Klink.

"We were wondering if you would go check on him for us sir," Newkirk asked in his most polite tone.

"As a matter of a fact I am on my way there right now," Klink replied. Hilda had come through for the gang yet again.

"You're really going to see him?" Carter asked excitedly.

"You don't suppose you could tell him something for us, Colonel?" Kinch asked politely.

"What do you want me to tell him?" Klink asked incredulously.

"Tell him we're trying to get our minds off of what's happening to him. We're staging a play tomorrow night." Kinchloe said.

"Yes, Sir. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Tell him I'll be playing Snow White." Newkirk grinned.

Klink rolled his eyes. "You prisoners and your ridiculous plays…" he muttered.

"So will you tell him?" Newkirk wanted to get a promise from him.

"Why are you so adamant? Is this some sort of secret code?"

"Oh, not at all, Sir." Carter said. "We really are. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Tomorrow night."

"Please tell him, sir. We know he'll be worried about us. This will ease his mind." Kinchloe said.

Klink looked at the men for a moment. They all did their best to look pitiful. "Okay, I'll tell him." He wondered for a moment if other Stalags were this bizarre.

* * *

Hogan regained consciousness slowly. At first he had a hard time remembering where he was or how he had gotten there. Gradually he recalled what had happened to him. 

Eventually Hogan noticed that someone had left some food and water in his cell. He wondered for a moment if it was poisoned. He decided that it probably was not. Hochstetter had realized that questioning Hogan in his weakened state was pointless. Hogan would probably end up dying before Hochstetter could get anything out of him.

Hogan took the risk and ate the food. A few minutes later he felt okay- at least not any worse than he already felt. It was twisted, helping a man regain his strength only to torture him. But it wasn't unexpected, especially from a man like Hochstetter.

A few minutes later the Gestapo major entered the cell. "I see you ate your lunch Colonel. How was it?"

"Almost as good as the food at Stalag 13. A little more sawdust in the bread and it would be just like home."

"I am tired of your insolence!" Hochstetter growled, smacking Colonel Hogan.

Hogan was glad he was already sitting on the floor so he didn't have far to fall. He felt dizzy. The room seemed like it was spinning.

"You're pathetic," Hochstetter said derisively. "I finally get my hands on you and you're already half-dead. I would do the Third Reich a favor and kill you now… if we didn't have some things to discuss."

Hogan didn't answer.

"I'll be back tomorrow, and then you and I are going to have a talk…"

* * *

"Alright men, did you all read the playbook? Do you know what to do?" Newkirk asked, as soon as they got back to the barracks. They all answered affirmatively. "Good. Kinch, did you make contact with Hans?" 

"I did. Everything is arranged for tomorrow tonight. You'll meet him and his group at 0100 hours."

"Right. Lebeau and Carter, did you get the clothes and the weapons ready?"

"Oui," LeBeau replied. "Don't worry, Newkirk. Everything is fine."

"It's a lot easier not to worry when the Colonel's in charge, ain't it? I don't know how he does it all the time. I think I'm already getting an ulcer."

The men laughed. They needed something to ease the tension. "Now for the real fun part," Newkirk said. "Anyone been in a play before?"

"We're not really gonna have a play, are we?" LeBeau asked.

"We told Colonel Klink we're having one. If we don't he's gonna know we're up to something," Kinchloe said.

"Thanks, Kinch," Newkirk said. "LeBeau, you're on costumes, Carter props, Kinch music, and I'm gonna go round up some actors. Meet back here in three hours."

As soon as Klink returned to camp he was swarmed. "Did you see him?" "How is he?" "What did he say?"

"Everybody back away from the Kommandant. Back, back, back!" Shultz ordered, nudging the prisoners with his rifle, which was most likely unloaded.

"Prisoners, calm down," Klink said. "I did see Colonel Hogan. He's… he's doing as well as can be expected for one in his circumstances."

"Did you tell him about our play?" Carter asked.

"I did." Klink replied.

"Really, did he say anything?" LeBeau asked anxiously.

"He said to tell you to save him a seat- he wouldn't want to miss it."

"That's our Colonel Hogan for ya, he won't let the Gestapo get him down," Newkirk said enthusiastically.

"Thank you, Colonel," Kinchloe said.

"Yeah, thank you," the other men echoed as they ran off to their barracks, leaving Colonel Klink standing there, wondering what was really going on.

**Chapter Four**

He only had to make it until tonight. Hogan repeated this to himself over and over. It helped to make his time with Hochstetter at least somewhat bearable. He was glad his men had gotten word to him of their plan, even though they had used an unusual courier. He wondered if Klink had known what he was doing.

Hogan decided that Klink probably had not known what he was doing. How many times had Hogan and his men tricked Klink into delivering messages for them in the past? But even if Klink hadn't known he was delivering Hogan a message, he had still come to check on his condition and that was admirable.

In fact Klink had done a lot for him lately…

Hogan still felt pretty terrible. He wondered whether it was to his advantage that way. The longer he could delay intensive interrogation the longer he could last. However, he knew Hochstetter was an impatient man, and had been anxious to get a hold of Hogan for a long time.

In the middle of that thought, Hochstetter burst into Hogan's cell, unannounced.

"Ready for that conversation?" Hochstetter asked maliciously.

"Of course," Hogan replied calmly, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. "What are we talking about?"

"I think you know." Hochstetter glared at Hogan. "You may have gotten away with your insolence with Klink but it will not be that way with me."

Hogan stared at Hochstetter. He really wanted to snap off some sort of witty response, but his mind was still working a little too slow. He figured it was probably better that way. He should try to incur as little injury as possible. If everything went according to plan he would be out of here soon.

Hochstetter motioned to the two guards that had entered the cell behind him. The violently drug Colonel Hogan off of his bunk and handcuffed him to a chair in the middle of the cell.

"Now let's start with an easy question. What were you doing outside of Stalag 13?"

"I wasn't _doing_ anything. I was totally unconscious when you found me." That response earned Hogan a swift punch in the abdomen from one of the guards.

"Now Colonel Hogan, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Hochstetter paused for a minute then grinned sadistically. "I had hoped you would choose the hard way."

"I'm glad I didn't disappoint you," Hogan muttered.

Hochstetter wasn't sure what to make of that comment. Glaring at Hogan, he continued, "Now, let's try this again. Why were you found outside of Stalag 13 in civilian clothes?"

* * *

"Why do I have to be Dopey?" Carter protested, as the cast of their impromptu play put on their costumes. 

"Do you really want me to answer that, mate?" Newkirk asked. The others laughed. "Besides, at least you don't have to dress like a woman."

"You should be used to it by now," LeBeau said.

"Look who's talking," Newkirk muttered as he put on his wig. LeBeau was playing the part of the wicked witch.

Rounding up other prisoners to be a part of the play had been a challenge. It took a lot of begging, and imploring on behalf of Colonel Hogan. In some cases it even took bribery. But they managed to come up with enough men to play the rest of the dwarves.

"You fellows ready?" Newkirk asked.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready," Sergeant Olsen answered, already regretting having agreed to be in this play. "Can't we just bust into that cell and get him out?"

"Now where would the fun be in that?" Newkirk grinned. "Besides, if everything goes according to plan then the Colonel will be outta there, and cleared of all suspicion."

"Couldn't I have at least been the prince?" Olsen asked. That role had gone to Sergeant Kinchloe.

"Kinch already has experience playing the part of a prince. Ain't that right?" Newkirk replied, looking at Kinchloe.

"Yeah, and I had hoped that I would never have to do it again. Besides at least last time I had a beautiful princess. It made things a little easier."

"What are you trying to say?" Newkirk pretended to be offended.

"Well I'm not kissing you. That's for sure." Kinch said deadpan.

"Well how are you gonna wake up Snow White?" Carter asked, sounding a little confused.

"I think of something," Kinch answered.

* * *

Putting on the play went more smoothly than Newkirk thought it would. Fortunately he and the rest of the gang had gotten pretty good at ad-lib during their time at Stalag 13. 

He hadn't liked that the prince decided to wake him up by throwing a bucket of cold water on him… but then again he didn't want Kinch to kiss him either.

"So what did you think of our play, Kommandant?" Newkirk asked Klink after it was over.

"I don't understand the plays that you prisoners perform here," Klink replied. "They just don't make any sense."

"Well it's that American sense of humor and all," Newkirk answered.

"But you're not even American!" Klink said, exasperated.

"Good point, sir. I'll keep that in mind for next time."

Klink sighed. Why did it always seem like there was something he was missing?

* * *

Corporal Newkirk hastily changed into his second costume of the night. He was going to be a Papa Bear decoy, but he also wanted to make sure he could not be identified later. He put on a false mustache, glasses, some grey color in his hair, and some make up to make his facial features appear different. In his time at Stalag 13 he had gotten pretty skilled at taking on a new identity. Yet another skill to add to his repertoire of safe cracking, pick pocketing and slight of hand. After the war he could either become the world's best magician or the world's best criminal. 

"You chaps almost ready?" he asked the other men assembled in the tunnel.

"Yes, sir," Carter answered.

"Oui, mon Corporal." LeBeau said, laughing slightly.

LeBeau's response made Newkirk pause. Here he was, a corporal, giving orders to sergeants. Well, things were never really normal at Stalag 13.

Carter handed Newkirk a gun, which he tucked into a holster hidden beneath his jacket. "Kinch, you know what to do if we're not back in 2 hours?"

"Yes, sir," Kinchloe replied, hoping that it wouldn't come to that.

"Good. Well this is it." Newkirk looked at LeBeau and Carter. "Let's go save Colonel Hogan."

Newkirk and his men rendezvoused with Hans and his team, Karl, Fritz, Wolfgang and Lily, just as planned. Carter and LeBeau took the rest of the group aside to explain the night's "mission", giving Newkirk a chance to talk with Hans.

"You're not Papa Bear," he whispered very softly, making sure the rest of his men couldn't hear.

"No I'm not," Newkirk answered. "I'm Snow White and I'm here to tell you that you've got a poisoned apple in your bunch. One of your men set up a meeting with Papa Bear three nights ago- a Gestapo trap."

Hans' eyes grew wide. "Which one?"

"I don't know. But we're gonna find out soon enough. Just play along, and make sure you watch my back."

Newkirk and Hans rejoined the rest of the group. "Are you men ready?" Newkirk asked. Then he smiled at Lily. "And you too Frauline?" he added smoothly.

"Oh," she said in surprise when she saw Newkirk. "Is it true, are you really him?" she asked excitedly.

"Well that depends on what you mean by "him" doesn't it?" Newkirk replied cautiously. Ever since his slip up with Gretel he had learned to consider every beautiful woman a potential Gestapo agent in disguise.

"Are you Papa Bear?" she asked.

"Well, love, that's not really something I like to discuss on the first date, you see…"

Newkirk was interrupted by one of the men in the group. "How can you be him? I heard that Papa Bear was arrested by the Gestapo several days ago."

"Oh, that." Newkirk said. "That was simply some unfortunate POW who picked the wrong night to escape."

"But doesn't the Gestapo have evidence against this man?" he insisted.

"Doesn't the Gestapo always have evidence?" Newkirk replied sarcastically.

"But…"

"Fritz! That's enough." Hans interjected. "Come with Lily and myself to place the charges."

Newkirk and Hans exchanged looks. This was probably the plant. Now Newkirk had to hope that he would act the part.

Fritz started to walk away with Lily and Hans when he turned sharply and aimed his gun at Newkirk. "You are under arrest by the Gestapo. You will come with me!"

So far, so good, Newkirk thought. "Not tonight mate," he said calmly.

LeBeau and Carter both pulled their guns on Fritz. "Drop the weapon!" LeBeau ordered.

Fritz was stunned. "You are all traitors to the Third Reich…" he stuttered. "This man must be punished…"

"Give it up, Fritz." Newkirk said. "We've got you outnumbered. Drop the gun or you're a dead man."

"I'm putting it down," he answered, crouching forward to lay his gun on the ground. Just when it appeared that he was setting down his weapon he suddenly lunged forward and grabbed Lily who was still standing next to him. He drug her down to the ground, turning so that she was between him and LeBeau and Carter. He wrapped one arm around her chest and held his gun to her head with his other arm. "Drop your guns or I will shoot her!" he threatened.

"What kind of a man uses a girl for a shield?" LeBeau said bitterly.

"Drop your guns!" He yelled again, more insistent this time. Newkirk could notice beads of sweat on Fritz's forehead, even though it was nearly freezing outside.

"Drop your guns mates," Newkirk said. This was an unexpected twist. Newkirk hadn't planned on Fritz taking a hostage. Neither had Colonel Hogan in his play book.

LeBeau and Carter tossed their guns on the ground never taking their eyes off of Fritz.

"Now, Papa Bear," Fritz said. "Will you be a man and come with me to face the consequences of your actions… or will I have to deliver Lily to Major Hochstetter?"

Newkirk winced. He couldn't allow the major to get his hands on this poor girl.

"I'll come with you. Let her go."

"Walk this way. I'll let her go when you get to me," Fritz said nervously. His hand was shaking.

Newkirk realized Fritz was pretty new at this. Newkirk could use it to his advantage, if he could think fast enough.

Newkirk started walking slowly toward Fritz. "Put your hands in the air!" Fritz yelled. Newkirk raised his hands above his head. As he was walking he noticed Hans and the other two men standing behind Fritz. The double agent had forgotten about them when he thought he had a chance at capturing the infamous Papa Bear. The other men had their guns aimed at Fritz. They were obviously afraid to shoot for fear of hitting Lily by accident.

Newkirk had an idea. He looked directly at Hans, making sure he made eye contact with the underground leader. He looked at Hans gun, then looked up into the air, hoping Hans would catch on. It took a moment for Hans to consider it, then he slowly raised his gun above his head.

I've only got one shot at this, Newkirk thought nervously. "Do it," he said.

"Wh…" Fritz didn't have a chance to finish his question before Hans fired his gun into the air.

Fritz panicked and let go of Lily. He turned around, suddenly aware of the danger behind him. Newkirk used the chance to rush Fritz and tackle him to the ground. Newkirk wrestled Fritz's gun away from him and tossed it to LeBeau.

Newkirk leaned very close to Fritz's ear and whispered. "You can tell Hochstetter he got the wrong man." Then Newkirk did something he really didn't want to do. He "lost" his hold on Fritz. Fritz jumped up from the ground and quickly ran off into the woods.

Karl and Wolfgang started to run after Fritz, when Hans held them back. Hans fired a few purposefully misaimed shots in Fritz's direction.

"He's getting away," Karl said.

"He's going to tell Hochstetter everything!" Lily said with concern.

"Don't worry love," Newkirk said, putting his arm around the girl. "He's doing exactly what I wanted him to do."

She smiled. "You've been planning for this all along. Your reputation is true Papa Bear."

"Now I never said I was Papa Bear, did I?" He flashed Lily his most charming smile. "Let's all get out of here before the Gestapo decides to show up."

**Chapter Five**

Newkirk was glad that he and the other men knew the area well enough to make it back to Stalag 13 quickly. They had to be back before Fritz could get a hold of Hochstetter, or anyone else.

They also had to bring Hans, Lily and the others back with them. There identities had been compromised due to the double agent in their group. Newkirk would try to convince them to leave Germany but he knew in the end they would refuse. They were resistance fighters, determined to see their country liberated from tyranny. They would probably end up moving to another area, under false identities, and Stalag 13 was just the place to outfit them for that.

"You look a lot better without the make-up."

Newkirk turned to face Lily, who watched him with admiration. "So you are not really Papa Bear?"

"Afraid not love. This is all just a plan to get the Gestapo to release him."

"Even so you were still quite impressive. You put your life on the line to save him… and to save me." She leaned in very close to Newkirk, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.

So this is how it feels to be Colonel Hogan, Newkirk thought as he kissed Lily. He realized that maybe the thought of being an underground leader wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

Colonel Klink hated being awakened in the middle of the night, but unfortunately getting a full night's sleep at Stalag 13 was not a common occurrence. 

"What is it Shultz?" Klink demanded angrily as he got hastily dressed.

"There is a man at the gate, Herr Kommandant. He says he is from the Gestapo."

"What do they want with Stalag 13? Why can't the Gestapo ever leave us alone?"

"I do not know, Herr Kommandant."

"Now there's a surprise- something you don't know…" Klink muttered sarcastically as he buttoned his jacket.

Klink walked quickly to the main gate. Whatever it was that this Gestapo man wanted, Klink wanted to get it over with quickly. What could the Gestapo want anyway? They already had Colonel Hogan. Maybe they were coming for him now… Klink shivered, and it wasn't from the cold.

Klink surveyed the man waiting at the gate. He was dressed in civilian clothes, looked very disheveled and frantic, and had several bruises and cuts. "You are the Kommandant of this camp?" he asked anxiously.

"Yes I am. Colonel Wilhelm Klink. And who, may I ask, are you?"

"Lieutenant Fritz Wiegel, Gestapo. I was posing as an underground agent with a local sabotage group which was meeting the infamous Papa Bear and his gang tonight. I attempted to arrest him but…" Fritz stammered. "I… I need to contact Major Hochstetter immediately. We must search for him before he gets away!"

"Yes of course…" Klink mumbled before he realized the significance of what Fritz had said. If he had just seen Papa Bear, and Colonel Hogan was locked up in a Gestapo prison… "Of course!" Klink said again, this time far more enthusiastic. "We must not let this man get away. In fact, I will drive you to Hochstetter's office myself. But first I just have to make one phone call."

* * *

Major Hochstetter was seething with anger. "Are you certain Lieutenant Wiegel that this man was the notorious Papa Bear?" 

"Ja wohl, Herr Major. It is not the American you are holding is not the one. In fact I think Papa Bear may have been an Englander."

"Are you certain?" Hochstetter asked again, realizing he was losing his pretense for holding Colonel Hogan.

"Major Hochstetter, in light of the new evidence that clearly proves Colonel Hogan is not the man you claim he is you have no choice but to return him to Stalag 13.," Klink said triumphantly.

"Klink! You will not tell me what choices I have!" Hochstetter glared at Klink.

"And," Klink continued, ecstatic to have the upper hand for once, "You can stop making your ridiculous claims about my Stalag."

Hochstetter was seething with anger. "Klink, I don't care what this evidence says. Hogan is up to something. I…"

Hochstetter was interrupted by General Burkhalter, who had just walked into the office. "Major Hochstetter, I am not usually inclined to agree with Colonel Klink, but in this circumstance I must concur."

"Thank you, Herr General," Klink said. He was glad he had called him before he left Stalag 13.

"Shut up Klink," Burkhalter said impatiently. "Major Hochstetter, you make accusations against my officers and you make accusations of underground activities happening in my prison camps. Yet you have no evidence to back up these accusations. Until you can come up with some real evidence, which I doubt will ever happen, you are to release this prisoner and stay out of my Stalags- all of them."

"BAH!" Hochstetter yelled. "Take him!" He stormed out of the office.

"Colonel Klink collect your prisoner and return to Stalag 13."

"Yes, Herr General."

"And make sure Hochstetter finds no reason to return to Stalag 13. Do you understand?" General Burkhalter's tone was threatening.

"Yes, sir" Klink said nervously. Now he was going to have Hochstetter _and_ Burkhalter watching him. He was going to have to have a serious conversation with Colonel Hogan when they got back to camp.

* * *

Colonel Hogan never thought he would be so glad to see Stalag 13. He breathed a sigh of relief as Klink's staff car pulled through the main gates. He had narrowly escaped Hochstetter this time. He would have to be more careful in the future. 

When the car stopped in the compound he realized that Colonel Klink was talking to him. The Kommandant had spent most of the ride lecturing Hogan about staying out of trouble.

"Do you understand Colonel Hogan?" Klink said emphatically.

"Yes sir," Hogan answered, though he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be understanding.

"Hmph," Klink responded. "Do you need to visit the infirmary?"

"If you don't mind I would just like to go to my barracks, sir."

Klink studied Hogan for a moment. "Very well. But have your medics examine you and report back to me."

"Yes sir." Hogan stepped out of the car cautiously. It was going to be interesting trying to make it all the way to his barracks unassisted. But he wanted to look strong in front of his men.

After what seemed like hours he made it to the door of his barracks. If it had been day time he would have been rushed by his men as soon as he entered the camp. But it was far past lights out and his men weren't supposed to know he was on his way back.

However it was obvious they were waiting for him as soon as he knocked on the door. Newkirk was the one who opened it for him. "I'm afraid you missed the play, Sir." He said teasingly.

"Perhaps I can talk you into an encore."

Newkirk looked worried. "I think we'd rather not."

"The mission was that hard?" Hogan raised an eyebrow.

"No, the play was," Carter said.

"I'm afraid Newkirk doesn't make much of a princess," Sergeant Kinchloe added.

All of the men in the barracks laughed. Hogan felt like he was missing some sort of an inside joke.

"Well I'd love to hear the review, but I think I need to go to bed now." Hogan felt like he could sleep for days.

His men followed him into his room, still curious about how he was feeling.

"I'm fine," Hogan insisted, sitting on his bunk. "I just need to sleep."

After another barrage of questions Hogan finally managed to silence his men. "The next person to ask me a question is gonna get transferred to another Stalag."

"I don't think you can do that, sir," Newkirk replied.

"Wanna try me?" Hogan said threateningly. The men would have laughed, but they weren't sure whether he was serious or not.

"Newkirk, I'd like to talk to you," Hogan said. The other men in the room left quietly.

"What is it, sir?" Newkirk said, taking a seat next to Hogan's bunk.

"I owe you a lot of thanks… you probably saved my life," Hogan said softly.

"It was nothing…"

"It wasn't 'nothing'. You put your life on the line pretending to be me."

"I was just following your plan."

"Really? I heard you had to improvise."

Newkirk laughed. "That Fritz just wouldn't follow the script."

Hogan was starting to fall asleep. Until this point in the war he had always been able to overcome his tiredness, or hunger, or coldness or whatever physical ailment was inconvenient at the moment. But now he just couldn't. He figured it must have all finally caught up to him. He yawned loudly, trying futilely to stay awake.

"I really should let you sleep, sir," Newkirk said, standing up.

"Newkirk," Hogan said just as the Englishman reached the door.

Newkirk turned and looked at him. "Yes Colonel?"

"Thank you."

Newkirk smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

Colonel Hogan woke up the next morning feeling rested for the first time in weeks. He was glad to back at Stalag 13. He had to admit that he was fortunate to prisoner here, or at least as fortunate as one could be as a prisoner. Kommandant Klink had taken a personal interest in seeing that Hogan was returned and he knew that no other camp commandant would do that. Klink had also managed to procure more medical supplies from somewhere. 

Hogan wondered where Klink got these supplies. He had never figured Klink to be the kind of man to deal with the black market- not because of morality, just a fear of getting caught. Maybe he's rich. Hogan laughed to himself at the thought.

As Hogan was lying in his bunk thinking about this Colonel Klink walked into his quarters. Speak of the devil…

"How are you feeling Colonel?" Klink sat in a chair next to Hogan's bunk

"Better than yesterday. That's a start." Hogan replied. "Thank you."

"For what?" Klink asked.

"Getting me away from Hochstetter. Bringing me back to camp."

"You're back here because Hochstetter didn't have any evidence to hold you. You were proven not to be the man he claimed you to be."

"But still… I heard your conversation with him yesterday. You were very… insistent."

"I am tired of that man's accusations. My reputation is on the line too. Perhaps I was just looking out for myself."

"Perhaps…" Hogan said. "But in any case I'm outta there, so I owe you something."

"If you really want to thank me Colonel, try to make sure I don't regret bringing you back here. Keep yourself out of trouble."

"I'll try." Hogan responded, though he tried not to sound too serious.

"I hope so Colonel Hogan. I hear that you have been ordered to bed rest for two weeks."

"Hmmm. It'll be a shame to miss all of the excitement around here."

"There better not be any excitement around here," Klink threatened. "And I'm going to have my guards watching you as well as your own men. If you take a step out of these barracks you'll be spending the rest of your bed rest in the cooler!"

"Nothing like being a prisoner of both armies," Hogan muttered.

**Epilogue**

Colonel Hogan was on day ten of his mandatory bed rest. The first week had passed fairly quickly since he hadn't had much desire to get out of bed anyway. But now as he started to recover it was getting more difficult to stay in his quarters. But with both his own men and the guards watching him he knew any attempt to leave would be futile. This was the first time since being at Stalag 13 that Hogan felt like a prisoner.

There was a knock at his door. "Come in."

It was Colonel Klink. He showed up at least once a day to warn Colonel Hogan to not get in any trouble.

"I'm still here Kommandant." Hogan hoped that maybe he would skip the lecture.

"I'm glad," Klink said. "I think I've figured out your code."

"Oh really?" Hogan said, raising his eyebrow inquisitively.

"Staging a play-that was a code for carrying out a mission, tomorrow night was obviously the date." Hogan smiled but didn't say anything. Klink continued. "The name of the play- that was the code word for exactly which mission. And Newkirk as the star of the play- he was pretending to be you. That's why the Gestapo now thinks that Papa Bear is an Englander."

"Is that so?" Hogan replied non-chalantly.

"And what you told me to tell your men- that was a code that you understood and to carry out the mission."

"You know, Colonel you would make a pretty good spy," Hogan joked.

"Don't even say that! I'd make a terrible spy."

Hogan laughed. It hurt. "But you figured out our code. You even delivered the message to me personally in a Gestapo prison."

Hogan realized that Klink suddenly looked paler. "What code? There is no code," he said nervously, as if he were trying to convince himself.

"Of course not. I'm only a prisoner." Hogan smiled.

"And I'm only a prison camp commandant… the only thing I want to do is take care of Stalag 13 and stay alive until the end of the war."

"Me too, Kommandant."

Klink saluted and left the room. Hogan laughed to himself. Staying alive until the end of the war. It was turning out to be a lot harder than he thought.

* * *

Author's note: There it is! My first HH story ever. (Well, the first one I was brave enough to post.)

It took about a month to write most of it then another month to fine tune it and make sure the story was consistent and everything was correct. I really tried to stay within the feel of the show, so I hope I did a good job. There are still a few parts I don't know if I like, but I'm afraid if I try to edit anymore then I will go crazy. Well… let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


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